


like strangers laugh

by inlovewithnight



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Brothers, Gen, Past Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-02
Updated: 2014-12-02
Packaged: 2018-02-27 21:27:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2707370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inlovewithnight/pseuds/inlovewithnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard doesn't even know if Mikey will want to see him after rehab.</p>
            </blockquote>





	like strangers laugh

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alpheratz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alpheratz/gifts).



The last fight they had--

Gerard can’t even remember the details of it. He knows he was furious because Mikey was fucked up in broad daylight. (Fucked up and _driving_ , jesus, careless and stupid and Bandit was just downstairs, mother _fuck_.) He knows he said something and Mikey snapped back and it escalated--it got worse--but he doesn’t remember what he said that made Mikey say, “Fuck you, Gerard, we are not brothers.”

There were a few terse calls after that, a few texts, but they all felt wrong and Mikey didn’t take it back. There was a hole in Gerard’s chest where his brother should be. There was a hole in his _life_.

But he couldn’t make the first move. Couldn’t cross the line. Mikey had to do this.

Their mom told him when Mikey went into rehab, and Gerard thought _maybe now_? He pushed back the dull knowledge of his failure--he should have been the one to get his brother into rehab, he should at least have been there, should have held his hand through the door--and waited, but no call, no email, nothing. 31 days of silence. 31 more days, really. They had been silent for a while before.

The next call was their mom again. “Pick him up at the airport tomorrow.”

“Did he ask for me?”

“Just do it, Gerard.”

“Maybe he doesn’t want to see me, Mom.”

“Gerard.” Her voice was sharp, and he bit his tongue, waiting. “He needs to see you. Swallow your pride and do this.”

“It’s not pride.” _I’m scared_ , he thought at her, willing it to cross the cell-phone signal, all the way across the country. _I’m so fucking scared._

“Swallow it anyway. Just pick him up. Tomorrow at four.”

So he went to the airport. He drove anxious laps around the pick-up zone, squinting at the bodies leaving the terminal, trying to find Mikey’s hunched and angled form. He had always thought he could recognize Mikey anywhere, from any distance. Now he wasn’t sure.

His phone buzzed with a text. _Coming out now. B17._

He looped around the pick-up zone again, pulled up to the curb, and there was Mikey, before he even had the car in park.

“Hey,” he said when Mikey had climbed inside, clutching his duffel bag to his chest like it was going to stop a bullet. “You lost weight, jesus.”

Mikey shrugged, eyes safely hidden behind his sunglasses. “Bloat, mostly. This is what I actually look like, I guess.”

Gerard bit his tongue again and steered the car into traffic. “Hungry? Coffee?”

“Coffee always.” Mikey fidgeted in his seat, fingers twitching anxiously at his bag. “So, um. How are you?”

“Good. Good. I’m, you know. Lots going on. Working on stuff. Projects.”

Mikey nodded. “How are Bandit and Lindsey?”

He said the names carefully, like they were formal titles or something. “They’re good, too. Busy.”

“Cool.” Mikey exhaled slowly and turned to look out the window. “That’s great.”

They rode in silence until Gerard found a Starbucks with a drive-through. After the first sip, Mikey finally looked at him. “You look terrified.”

“No.”

“I’m not going to stab you, dude.” Mikey drummed his fingers against his cup. “I didn’t just get out of prison.”

“I know. I don’t… think that. I just don’t know what to say.”

Mikey’s mouth twitched halfway to a smile. “That’s a first.”

“Shut up.” Gerard rubbed his face. “Do you remember what you told me?”

“You’re going to have to be more specific.”

“When we had that fight.”

Mikey gestured with his cup. “Again, more…”

“You told me we weren’t brothers anymore.”

Mikey sat still for a moment, then took a careful sip. “I said that?”

“Yeah. You did.”

He shook his head slightly, microscopically. “I don’t remember it.”

“Well… you said it. It fucking killed me.”

Mikey took another sip and stared straight ahead. “I’m sorry.”

“Did you mean it?”

“Of course not, Gerard.” Mikey glanced at him from the corner of his eye, just visible around the sunglasses. “I don’t even have the authority to do that, I’m pretty sure. Negating brotherhood, that’s, like. A DNA thing.”

“Don’t fuck with me right now.”

“It’s way above my pay grade. That’s all I’m saying.”

“You are fucking with me.” Gerard fell back against his seat and stared out the windshield as well. “Jesus Christ, Mikey.”

He could hear Mikey sip and swallow, then the soft tap of him setting his cup down on the dash. A moment later his rough, knobby fingers curled around Gerard’s wrist. Gerard resisted for a moment, then gave in, turning his hand in Mikey’s hold and letting him thread their fingers together.

“I love you,” Mikey said quietly.

“I love you too.”

“I’m really, really fucking sorry.”

“Me too.” Gerard squeezed his hand. “Don’t leave me again?”

“I’m sort of on this whole new thing about not making promises I can’t keep?” Mikey looked at him, really looked, and held on. “But it would take a lot to make me go. Good enough?”

“Yeah.” Gerard reminded himself that all he had to do was breathe. “Yeah, that’s good enough.”

Mikey looked over to the highway. “Traffic sucks.”

“It does.”

“You can tell me everything that’s been going on. If you want.”

Gerard made a face at him. “A chance to talk about myself? Have I ever turned that down?”

“Hey, it’s a one-time offer.”

Gerard looked down at their hands. “I need that to drive, but I don’t want you to let go.”

“I’ll still be here.” Mikey’s smile was tight, and his voice shook just enough that Gerard knew there were tears in his eyes, hiding behind his lenses. “I mean it this time.”

Gerard took a deep breath, released his hand, and believed.


End file.
